Become mild and a friend to yourself
Monthly newsletter February 2020
What does it mean to be ‘mild’?
Being mild is what most people experience when they see a young child try to walk for the first time. With a mixture of compassion and encouragement you watch how the child tries to stand up, keeps its balance, enjoys its first success and then falls, and then stands up again.
When the child falls you are not angry. You are giving the child space to develop on its own, and find his/her own way. That’s how we learn. When this child enthusiastically and eagerly extends its hands to you for balance, you reach out your hands and give the child the opportunity to grab them – and enjoy it if they reach their goal.
Most people don’t treat themselves with this mildness. How often do you lose yourself in criticism and disapproval? If things don’t work out as planned, you give yourself an extra dose of punishment. As if it is isn’t hard enough already….
With this approach you actually can’t learn, you only make yourself feel worse.
How can you be mild to yourself?
What is being gentle for yourself?
How would you want someone else to treat you when you are going through a tough time?
Being mild is a conscious decision. You choose to not continue with the destructive pattern of self-blame. You look at yourself the same way as you look at a child who falls and stands up. You give yourself space, you befriend yourself.
Our daily practices like yoga, meditation, or keeping a diary helps us to create a discipline so consciously we can choose to be a friend to ourselves, and to live from kindness and compassion.